I Resolved To Keep This One Short

I don’t make New Years resolutions anymore; I long ago accepted the fact that I'm far too lazy and stubborn to change my ways.

But, for those of you still holding on to the hope that this is the year to be all that you can be, here are a few modifications I think can be made to the most common New Years resolutions so that the feeling of being a failure doesn't start to creep up on you come February 1st.

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 Instead of...

...Resolving to lose weight and get in shape

 *Buy bigger clothes and invest in some good Spanx*

Now we can all be skinny! :)

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Instead of...

...Resolving to spend more time with friends and family

*Just turn off your TV*

...Just sometimes ;)

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Instead of...

...Resolving to get out of debt

*Stop buying stupid crap*

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Instead of...

...Resolving to learn a new hobby/language/skill

*Resolve to learn anything; TURN OFF YOUR TV AND READ A BOOK*

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Instead of...

...Resolving to get more organized

*Stop laying your crap everywhere and just put it away already*

((just stack it under the table and move on))

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Instead of...

...Resolving to quit drinking

*Just don't drink three cases every weekend*

not necessary

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Good luck with your resolutions!! If it makes you feel any better, I'll still be here watching 30 Rock and eating carbs if you don't succeed :)